On Being a Mother

I'm writing this, Sweet One, so that I can remember the beautiful life that I have been given in your birth. There are many things billowing in the waves of my emotions, but most of all I am overwhelmed with the love that I have for you as a mother. I could never have imagined the emotions that your birth has unleashed in both your father and my heart and life. Holding you after you were born, I felt like someone had given me a dress that I needed to grow into....Motherhood. I felt very small and not "big enough" to wear this dress. But you instantly needed me and wanted me...clutching my finger tightly in your fist, shaking your head back and forth with your eyes closed wanting to suckle, wimpering if I didn't hold you tight against me. You were so cute with your dark head full of hair; the midwife even ignored me for a moment while I was giving birth to you, as she curled your dark head of locks. Daddy and I couldn't wait to get you home ...our home sweet home. We had prepared for you everything we thought you would need...but we came home with more than a beautiful firstborn daughter. We came home with a heart full of love for someone that we'd only just met and this love will last for a lifetime of eternities because you will be our daughter forever. Your Daddy instantly began to call you many nick names....Cornelia, Cornillie, Sugar Pie-Honey Bunch, Whistling Squirrel, After a week of life with us, you looked up at me one day and smiled so beautifully over and over. I cried because it was the most beautiful smile in the world aside from the one that your Daddy had when I was walking down the aisle to marry him! I will never forget those smiling moments with you...the first of many to come. When you were being formed inside me, the Lord told me that you would bring much JOY to our lives. I call you my little "joy-bug" because you were a happy contented child from the day you were born. You would even try to smile while you cried when mommy or daddy were slow in getting you fed or changed or put to bed. Sleeping with mommy and daddy was your favorite place to be...nestled between us, on your daddy's tummy face down, or cuddled in mommy's arms. You reminded me of how trusting we are to be of our Heavenly Father. You snuggled with us night after night; even giving us a good bit of sleep ...more than we expected from a newborn girlie! The day you were born a deep joy entered our lives...a feeling we will never forget or outlive. Thank you for being our Corrie Lynn!